Nights

Dark nights do things to me that I can’t explain when I sit by the wall and scream your name the hue of silence surround me and I faze.
I wish I was stronger to fight this feeling that overpowers me I wish I knew what it means but I am a mere girl with big dreams and hopes and I can’t let go of the fear of letting you go,
So as the moon shines bright from the clouds and when the silence takes over the streets I think of doing things that I shouldn’t and I wouldn’t as you are there on the other side of the chatbox keeping me alive saying “you are beautiful” every time I speak and I get… soaked with the blood that riots in my veins , soaked with the ghosts of the past that lingers in my brain and I do things that I shouldn’t and I hope I wouldn’t but I do it.
I do it everyday, every moment I get time that pushes you away and away but I don’t mean it
It is just the demons in my soul grabbing me whole from the neck and swarm of bees in my stomach wanting me to eat you whole and I speak…I speak the words that slice your jaws and I speak the words that dice your eyes and I speak the words that burns US alive and US who we call goals and US who we have faith and US which is so pure is dead.
I am sorry for the pain I cause
I am sorry for the moments I have lost
I am sorry for the love that is gone.

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