Waking Up

I want you to come to my house of matrimony, a big white house with dogs barking at the front. A house which is made of beautiful hopes and dreams and my days and nights of hard work. I will cook a perfect breakfast for you while you gaze at my gallery wall, while I serve you can compliment my engagement ring. I will talk to you about my beautiful children who loves to go out for a walk, then my husband will come from behind and kiss me goodbye while he leaves for his bureaucratic job. Then we can sip tea while we take long walks in my garden filled with roses and small swimming pool cleaned with perfection. I am a home maker now and I don’t care, I love it! I will tell you about my perfect honeymoon at Bahamas how my husband went crazy while spending all his money. I will tell you about the next party we are throwing celebrating my 20th Anniversary. I will tell you about my love story which took 16 years in the making, will tell you about my previous job description and how lonely I felt without him by my side.
Then I will zone out and you will snap your fingers in front of my eyes and you will tell me that the groom is here, I will put on a fake smile and walk the small aisle of thrones, trying to hide my tears. At the end of it will be standing a stranger, a man not from my dreams but from reality.
If there is a jail as big as something that is arranged marriages. I, being an 18 year old ignorant person don’t know much about how marriages work but what from Ms.Jane taught me I know it takes two hearts to make one soul and whole life to build a matrimony.
When you’re a dreamer you think about your special day daily and with love affairs always buzzing the news channel keeping the mind off of love is hard. I also imagine what my perfect love story would look like. A dark handsome boy will take me from the arm and ask me to be mine, he will go down on one knee under the star lit sky and ask me the magic words with the ring in his hands, the ring will be a small diamond not a big one but a very tiny diamond dressed on my finger and I will cry and cry and will say yes and then… I will wake up. Will get ready to marry some dark fat Indian guy with nose hair who will try to grope me at our wedding night, I will answer some random questions about my purity to strangers whom now I call my family. This will be my fate I know.
This has always happened in my family, since the day I became capable of dreaming big dreams i was told they are worthless.
My dream house is a ruin, my dream ring is still at Tiffany’s, my pet dogs never been rescued, my children are still trapped in the shackles of my brain, my gallery wall doesn’t have enough pictures because my sister-in-law hates interior decoration, there is no swimming pool because my husband cannot breathe under water, the garden of roses is a barren ground because nobody wants to invest, the honeymoon never happened because he had office work to do, I guess there will be no 20th anniversary because I would like to die before the 2nd all of this because I was told not to find my perfect husband but my parents did that job for me by matching the stars in the sky.
I wish it could be any different.
When I go shopping I go ahead and look at the Tees that I want and try it on, if it is not my size, style, colour I toss it and it becomes best outfit for another person, but here my mom went out shopping found the tee which was situated in the shiniest of corners had a classic rack to live in, had good company surrounding him, had a good product name and a perfect job but the tee is a loose fit for me, I look like a potato in it and I cannot take it off as it is mine…I am its forever and even if i did i will be disgraced for life.
I am imagining a night full of sky and long beach walks and I wake up to the sound of snoring, told to cook breakfast while he went to the job i had no idea about.
I was imagining talking days and nights talks about books, politics and environment and I woke up with him looking at me with a dead look asking me to shut up.
I was imagining a dark tall handsome man to go down on one knee and give me a ring of my dreams and i woke up with snarly stares baring gaping holes in me talking about my big nose and small eyes.
I was imagining throwing a game of thrones themed wedding where i dance like crazy and i woke up with sounds of kids shouting and snatching my sari, with 200 strangers asking me how i am?
And I tell them all, I am not fine cause i woke up.
I would rather sleep forever.

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9 comments

  1. alventureblogs · May 12

    being a housewife is a dream for me…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sabre · May 12

    This line is particulary precious “it takes two hearts to make one soul and whole life to build a matrimony.” You, my dear, are a born poet 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Life is a complicated and messy trip. Sometimes we just need to try and follow the path that makes more sense to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. maketravelreality · May 17

    Wow, interesting and deep article. Thanks for sharing your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Anna · May 18

    It’s a lovely post:-)

    Liked by 1 person

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