Things I Don’t Understand

 

I wont lie I am not the smartest person in the world and half of the time I don’t know what is going on around me and apart from the fact where my life is going there are many things I don’t understand, the possibility of me getting a Nobel Price is more than me understanding these things:

  1. Why do people get offended when I call their dogs, dogs?

Like seriously I don’t get offended when people call me human, I take that as a complement. So why that fluff ball in your arms that is named dog by the world is not called a dog?

And don’t give that crap about “my kid” because if I say “your kid” is peeing on my carpet your real kid will punch me in the face for getting him in trouble. Yes your dog fills up a vacant space in your heart but guess what? It is dog.

 

  1. Boyfriends telling their girlfriend what to do?

I don’t see the need to let a boy tell a girl what to do and this is not some ego or I listened to Beyonce, I just don’t see it, a girl can function alone and thrive at it. You weren’t there in her mommy’s womb with her (and if you were then, awkward) she made it out herself and she is doing just fine. If you claim to see this world better then you don’t wear that tank top to the mall.

 

  1. Why do marriages to other religion not allowed?

He is a human, makes me laugh, I like his body and changes T-Shirt everyday and if he works get that paper I am down in all fours for him so don’t stand back and tell me I cannot marry him cause he prays a different God, for me, it is  a cultural shock.

 

  1. Unnecessary home-work

I can write a book about this one but I don’t have time as I am writing “I will not talk in class” thousand times. Teachers do this thing, this thing where they tell you to write some text from a book to A4 sheets and submit at a date. Like, what did I miss here? I have a book which has all sacred texts written on it which will make me a better human (hopefully) so why do I have to write it all on a different paper, haven’t you heard of plagiarism? And surely you have a misconception that we will “memorize” it but attending Science lesson and writing History project under the table while dodging the eye of the teacher is not an easy task, either we can be James Bond or we can “memorize” this thing which we will forget.

 

  1. Expensive bras

Dear Victoria Secret,

If you expect me to spend 2200 Rupees on a bra then that bra must be made of gold and be looking amazing over the shirt, please don’t expect me to wear a 2200 Rupees bra and hide it under my clothes.

Either change the conventions or lower the prices and don’t talk to me about “comfort” we all know bras are the most uncomfortable thing in world, more uncomfortable than watching kissing scenes with parents.

 

  1. Why do people show off?

You have a thing? Good for you! No need to rub it on people’s face and act like you are the best just because you have some money to spare. If I like your shoes I would say it “hey Tom I like your shoes” you don’t have to take it off put it on my face and make me lick it because they are the “Gods of shoes”. Guess what, my shoes do the exact same thing and look decent I am fine with it so first your shoes are irrelevant for me and second modesty is the highest virtue Tom! I will call Jerry on you.

 

So that as it my list of things I don’t understand, if you agree then you are my best friend and if you don’t you are still!

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