How Gays Came into Being?

The world is going through the ‘too many closet blessing’ as everyone and their fathers are coming out of the closet and creating too much room in the furniture. As a girl, it is depressing for me to see I guy liked actually lived in a closet for so many years and now he is out which is more heartbreaking because now I have to buy new clothes to fill the space in the closet and my heart.

Well, my crush found his prince I don’t know when i will? Because it seems like every man I seem to like is either gay or do not exist. I just want a man with jaw line, soft eyes, brown hair and a perfect heart; is that too much to ask? And yes if he does not have that Ferrari he better not call me his lady!
Anyways seeing men finding love with men made me wonder why is this happening? Why are guys consummating in an unconventional way? Why are they straying off the system?
To find answers to these questions I turned to most trusted and most competent in the world: my Brain.
So the Brain of Chintu thought hard, really hard, demanded Chinese in the process then laid down these assumptions:
First and the most obvious reason: girls! Girls are the reason why guys are doing guys. Girl with their drama and chick flick annoyed the male population and so guys turn to their bro friends made a union against fem-dynasty, things got touchy and gays came into being.
To support my argument I flipped the pages of Wuthering heights where I think the establishment of gay was laid. Heathcliff was a young man who loved a girl named Catherine and Catherine being the selfish bitch that she was married a wrong man, Heathcliff was alone, at this time he was done with the whole girl drama so he thought of living alone and turned psycho. Here is my theory: Heathcliff wasn’t actually alone he had Joseph his keeper, he took care of Heathcliff and helped him throughout and what happened? They found love in a hopeless place known as Wuthering heights.
In the modern times, same thing is happening when girls screw the guys over they turn to their bros for support and in their eyes they see companionship they come close stepping into each other’s aura they feel each other and what happens they fall in love.
It is cute but annoying.
Second assumption: imagine a 23 year old cute virgin male who wants some experience to get in the game he turns to his trusted friend and asks for some advice that person decides to show the advice practically and in the midst of penetrating the virgin realizes oh my god this is what I want for my whole life and a gay is born! Or maybe guys are just super free and curious, who knows?
Side note: this is how ‘dicks before chick’ slogan was made too.
Third assumption: ‘A’ is the most used vowel in the world and you know when someone starts getting popular they start to get wanted this popularity of ‘A’ made guys kick ‘U’ less popular vowel out of their lives and welcomed ‘A’. With ‘A’ came so many good things, girls liked you better, you can show your fashion sense, you had a much tighter opening, drama free life, fewer responsibilities. ‘A’ gave the males the happiness they craved for such a long time, the happiness ‘U’ wasn’t able to give.
These guys who turned gays had big p… otential, they were capable of making our lives so much better but because of the drama, the loved vowel, and that bitch Catherin we lost diamonds ladies and they shall be missed.
All this time the sexy men don’t exist actually they do they are just gay!
But something came out of this phenomenon, we girls also found love with girls (is there something guys are doing and we girls don’t demand to do the same effing thing?) We too became gays and are pretty gay right now. We have better stuff anyway girl friends understands us, they can stand us, they can go with us to the beauty parlor, and not complain while we shop. Okay seriously, girls are too perfect and we don’t need guys I am calling my girl friend right now!

 

 

 

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